Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize