I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
