Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
