dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
