we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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