I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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