If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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