So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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