I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
