Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
