I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize