been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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