You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
