Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
