guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
