i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize