thus making me awesome and them whores
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
