Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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