some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So squirting runs in the family.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize