I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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