God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
