Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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