went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
