Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There r osticjed everywhere
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
