Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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