you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am available for nakedness
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
