Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The air was thick with penises
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
