Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my poor anus
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
