What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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