You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
honey bunches of taint.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
