He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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