Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
