The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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