He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
