Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize