a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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