I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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