i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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