New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
