is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
