I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
