I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
