Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
