the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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