u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize