do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
