My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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