I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
