i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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