hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
