We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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