i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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