You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
