At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
