fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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